I like to keep things simple. I have very few needs, I have very few demands, and it only takes a little to make me happy. It would need a truckload of baggage to tip my balance. The truckload came last week in the form of tiny tingling, hissing sound in my ear – tinnitus and meniere’s disease. I am still feeling very angry about the whole thing. I want to ask why me but how about those people with fatal diseases? At least I know that my probability of dying in the next few years is small. But I also know that I have a very high probability of going deaf in the few years! How’s that knowing your future?
There isn’t anything I can do now but try to live healthy. It’s not like I haven’t already except on coffee and chocolates. I just learned that caffeine aggravates my condition so it has to go. I am now on my fourth caffeine-free day and its killing me, what with the tinnitus to go with it. I can’t concentrate, I am having headaches and I’m always sleepy. Yesterday was a real challenge. My only hope is that according to Google, it’s only for nine days. After that, the symptoms will ease out. I hope so. I pray so.
Last Monday night, after enjoying a box of chocolates with wine in it, I woke up in the middle of the night with tinging and hissing sound in my ear. I thought, this is great, once in your lifetime you get lucky to indulge yourselves with foods of the gods, the gods sent you Medusa right away. I thought the sound was going to go by the morning but it didn’t. By Wednesday I had to see an EENT who pronounced my outer ear, my nose, my throat and my eyes to be in perfect condition. He said all I need is to take B vitamins which I did. By Friday morning the sound was already getting into my nerves so I consulted Google. I was surprised there is a name for what I was suffering – tinnitus. The more I read about tinnitus, the more frightened I became. There is no cure and I have to live with it. By Saturday morning, I certified myself to be suffering from depression. I slept almost half the day. By Sunday I feel like I’m going nuts with the tinging and hissing sound.
Yesterday I went to see another EENT. After the tests, he said I got Meniere’s disease. He gave me Ginkgo Biloba tablets for two weeks and have to continue the B complex vitamins. The tinnitus is just one of the disease’s symptom. When I googled menniers, I learned that menniers doesn’t have a cure, cause is unknown, the tinnitus won’t go away, and that my hearing will progressively deteriorate.
I know I can choose how to react to all these. My choice now is to be angry. I am angry, very angry, very, very angry.