at 44

every morning of every birthday, i always wake up with mixed feelings (translation: clueless as to how I am feeling). this morning i woke up uttering prayers of petition so i suspect my unconscious and subconscious mind must have been at it all night. as my conscious mind slowly takes hold of me I see faces of people who in one way or the other have been a part of me and i was praying for each one that they be blessed. some of them have indeed been with me in good times and in bad. some were only sent to me to deliver a message and they’re gone even before I could say “thank you”. it always takes me quite awhile to learn messages sent through people. some of the faces have hurt me
and alas i couldn’t remember what and how (i could only remember how the hurt has helped me love more). some of them are the faces of those I care and love for no reason at all (i will get back on this one since i find it quite hard to accept that things can happen for no reason at all!).

yes, on the day i turned 44, i woke up filled with love in my heart, powerless to make sense of it. if you are reading this blog, there is 100 percent certainty that your face graced my morning today. thank you for being a part me. i wonder how my life at 44 would be without you in it.

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